Its not like it would matter to anyone out there but it does to me. I feel better typing it out. Better than saying it out. I guess I just don't know how to communicate well with anyone. Me having such a fucked up attitude/ weird character doesn't help much either.

I get jealous easily but I won't say it out unless necessary.

I think a lot about what I know I don't have to.

I'm weird.

And I know that.

Don't wanna be a nuisance but it's hard.

Freedom.....yes that's what you need.

Told myself to give you your personal space.

I guess I'm just a 'jealousy-overwhelmed' bitch.

Want to tell you how I feel yet I fear losing you.

I never felt good enough for you and I guess lying to myself that I was was never the solution.

Told myself You really care about me and it's just that I can't feel it.

Now I'm not so sure about that.

I'm certain of my feelings for you but I think, not everything comes back the same way.

And maybe, just maybe, you were never certain of your feelings for me.

And as usual I'm gonna put myself first. I'm selfish. I think about me first.

Me myself and I.

Don't wanna realize everything is just a game for you while I put my heart and soul into this 'game'.

I won't be able to take it. I know. Or I don't. Because I never liked someone so much.

Why can't I be pretty and skinny like all your girlfriends?

And if I'm not, I don't even know if it's your 'negligence' or my low self-esteem causing this whole shit in my brain.

I'm sucha fucked up girl.