It's 2.50am and I'm crying away as if someone died but truth is, I want to be the one that's dead. Everything seems so useless right now, even talking to my bf about it doesn't help. He just doesn't understand how much I hate life in poly right now. It's not that I hate that I met him in poly, I mean he is the best thing that has happened to me. But it's just that I'm so stressed up with work right now. I know my GPA is gonna drop damn badly this semester because I'm not working hard at all. I hate what I'm doing right now and I tried to study but it just doesn't seem to get into my head. Classmates and friends are all being competitive it makes me doubt if there is ever true friendship. I'm getting so stressed out because exams are nearing and I have no clue what I need to do for tomorrow's test. I'm so fucked up. I'm useless and I'm sorry for being so dramatic about it but it seems to me that blogger is the one place that I can truly express myself and not get any objections. All these nights of crying to sleep are becoming more frequent. I hate my life now. I hate it that I'm so useless. Why can't I just not worry about anything and die

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